God is Stronger Than Your Past

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face of god

I remember when I wrote the song Face of God. I was sitting in my room at my apartment. My roommate wasn’t home, and I had been listening to Mumford and Sons a lot. They had just made their debut, and I was trying to learn their new song. In the midst of me playing their chords, I started writing my own song (which happens a lot).

Since moving to Austin, I had been reflecting back on my own life and how I got to where I was. I was very involved with the church, and I learned a lot about myself and God while I was there.

I had heard that if someone saw the face of God, it would be so powerful it would kill them. In the Bible, anyone who comes close to God seems to die from His power.  I wondered with a power like that, if only I could touch His face, then maybe He could heal me of all the pain, shame and regret of my past. I had a strong desire to know God better, to see Him in person, and I wondered what it would be like to see His actual face.

The lyrics came easy for me. All the torment of the past few years came pouring out. It was just me and God in a song of worship. It wasn’t a happy-go-lucky type of worship song. It was a lamenting song.

A lot of healing and recovery happened in my stay in Austin. Lies that I had been believing came to the surface, and I was able to confront them with God’s truth. In shame, I had hidden from others and God, but I was learning that God didn’t want me to stay in darkness. He wasn’t holding my sins against me because He had already forgiven me. I was beginning to come back into the Light.

I remember the first time I performed this song, I was living in Houston. I performed it at a coffee shop, and it was pretty noisy, especially a group of girls who were chatting loudly in a corner. They didn’t seem to care about this new little singer-songwriter and the songs she had worked so hard to write. That’s the world of an indie musician, sad to say. You become accustomed to being background noise.

But when I started playing this song, there was a hush over the crowd. It was eerily quiet. Even the girls in the corner stopped talking to listen. I couldn’t believe I had everyone’s undivided attention. I played it through, and everyone clapped. After the song, everyone went back to their merry way, but after performing this song multiple times now, I’ve noticed that there is an anointing on this song. It has now been performed overseas, on TV, on the radio, in coffeeshops, and even in bars. I’ve noticed tears in the audience, and people come up to me afterwards to say they found healing in that song.

Perhaps in some way, we are all touching the face of God with that song. Perhaps His power came down in a way when I wrote it so that we could experience His power in a way that wouldn’t kill us, but heal us. My hope is that you will find the same healing when you listen to it.

We recorded it on my first album, and because we loved it so much, we did another version of it for the second record, which you can listen to by clicking here. Let this song be a reminder for you that no matter what you’ve done in the past, there is grace and forgiveness in Christ.

The One who made the light told you to shine!

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